Soccer Mom Reflections

2003-10-01T19:02:00.000-07:00

New Blog:

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2003-09-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

I am completely ripping off Mike Bishop's blog. But I thought this was great stuff in reference to thee church planting question "how big is your church,

I've stopped answering that question, at least straight out. There are so many reasons why, but the main one is that I refuse to use numbers as a measure of success against Jesus' charge to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Notice he doesn't say, "go and make disciples - counting them along the way to make sure you can accurately measure if you're being 'effective' or not."

Anyway, David (who happens to be in his 60's and definitely "gets it") had a great idea for a response. What if, in answer to the dreaded question, we said something like, "Wow, that's a great question. Let me ask you this, how many friends do you have? Not just acquaintances, but people you actually share your life with - people that know who you are and you are working out your discipleship together?" Of course, they would answer something like, "Oh, three or four people at the most." To that you would say, "Wow, that's great. That's how big my church is too." Tongue firmly planted in cheek, of course.

I found myself abit lost today thinking about the church and me. I really want to "do life" with people and do church with them. I still find myself very sensitive to the common reaction by people who have left the "original big denominational vision" we started out with and gone on to other "big visions" for church. Oh my reaction is not to them since they never talk to us anymore. It's just in my head. But something got me thinking about the people who we met when we first moved here. People I intentionally got to know thinking we'd be life long friends. Oh, I remember my daughter told me that her best friend was a daughter of one of the women I was getting to know yet we have not seen them in nearly a year. My thought was yeah some best friend they never call us to see how we are and never seemed interested in us when we got the boot. Yet they were the very people who warned us about what we were getting into with the big cheese. I do not get it. But I feel sad today.

2003-09-26T13:08:00.000-07:00

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink small mocha are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall

this is what starbucks thinks of me, well then I guess we have to order our coffee from Peets So stick that in your foamer and steam it.

2003-09-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

Since God has so generously let us in on what he is doing, we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times. We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don't maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don't twist God's Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God.

If our message is obscure to anyone, it's not because we're holding back in any way. No, it's because these other people are looking or going the wrong way and refuse to give it serious attention. All they have eyes for is the fashionable god of darkness. They think he can give them what they want, and that they won't have to bother believing a Truth they can't see. They're stone-blind to the dayspring brightness of the Message that shines with Christ, who gives us the best picture of God we'll ever get.

Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messenger, errand rummers from Jesus for you. It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.

If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us-trail and torture, mockery and murder; what jesus did among them, he does in us-he Lives! Our lives are a constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While wer're going through the worst you're getting in on the best!

We're not keeping this quiet, not on your life. Just like the psalmist who wrote, "I believed it, so I said it," we say what we believe. And what we believe is that the One who raised up the Master Jesus will just as certainly raise us up with you, alive. Every detail works to your advantage and to God's glory: more and more grace, more and more people, more and more praise!

So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.

taken from The Message 2 Corinthians 4

2003-09-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

It is pouring out right now. It sounds so nice. Samuel our eldest son turned 6yrs old today. We are celebrating by going to a fine hamburger establishment for dinner, his favorite eatery.

Sara and Will Sansbury came to visit this weekend we really enjoyed meeting them in person. It is also good to hang out with folks from other churches.

I have started reading the message and I just love it. It seems so lively to me. I can't explain it. It is simple and to the point. I love how eugene writes the intro. I can't even believe I read the intro to a bible.

will write later the kids are sugared up and now they need me.

2003-09-19T04:04:00.000-07:00

Gregs blog is all about what we have been dealing with. What I have been dealing with. I am excited though as I hear the voice of the good shepherd inviting me to let go of the ways I use people and to let him affirm me in his perfect goodness. Not only to affirm but to influence and redesign my heart, my loves, and my muddled up ways of coping. To breathe the free air of the kingdom and to embrace all that jesus taught about the kingdom.

yesterday my neighbor came over and helped me paint. I am so grateful for our budding friendship.

2003-09-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to share a really neat story with all you out there who desire to be missional and keep it as local as possible.

Our home builder came to do some wall repairs for our final 12 month warrenty. There were so many spots large and small that it requires me to basically re-paint the entire 4 rooms. Mind you we have 18ft high ceilings. So I have to purchase more paint and put in the time.

Well the builder told me there was no way they would re-paint it. So I was devestated. Well in the meantime a neighbor who I am getting to know came to see the damage. She was freaked out.

Yesterday she called me over to give me something. When I went to her home she handed me $20.00 to purchase new paint. Her mother-in-law whom I never met made the donation.
Then she told me that she had talked with other neighbors and that a group of 6-8 neighbors were coming over to re-paint my home and to help me prepare for the conference.

Then her husband wrote a letter to the CEO of the company. Can you believe it?

For months Greg and I have been wondering how we were going to be friends with our neighbors and now they are coming to our home to help with a church conference that none of them will be attending. Most of them go to McChurch and I have never had a spiritual conversation with any them (on purpose) they know that we are pastors and I am stunned.

Can I get an AMEN

2003-09-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

Incidential Heidi Trivia

My favorite flower is the tulip
I love cobbler and rice crispy treats
I enjoy listening to Michael Card
One of my all time favorite books is
The Way of the Heart by henri Nouwen.
My house is a mess and I wish it were'nt so.

I have way too many ideas and it annoys me and others. a favorite part of my day is having morning coffee with greg. I think we started this at seminary with no intention that it would become a habit.
I can only wear New Balance tennis shoes.
When I do yoga my feet stop aching for about a week.

I think everyone should have fresh flowers in their home on a weekly basis. I killed my sons first fish.
I was tested positive for ADD.
I always talk about the zone as though I faithfully eat by its guidlines.
I am sure that God exsits because the church still does.
enough about me, how about you?

2003-09-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

Ya know... in one of eric kecks recent blogs he talks about getting some "new blood". Or getting connected with people who are currently not walking in kingdom realities. Well I am right there. Lord, Lead us in our community our subdivision to people who you are calling.

Please lead us to essential things that matter for eternity.

I am counting on you. And also give people the grace to admit they need a savior.

2003-09-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

ya know what is so difficult about doing missional church?...........For me it is trust. Is God really going to see this or that pattern in me or others and is he really going to address it? It is also re-imagining my role as a "pastor's wife". Now I know why the catholic church wants the priest to be single they knew what would happen to wifypoo. :)

But my greatest concern is that I do not experience very many christians asking questions. I can only recall one person in our community that did not comphrend a parable and to her credit it was the most awesome, honest and refreshing moment for me to hear that. Jesus used the parables as a way to see who was following him. And the ones who came back and asked questions were the ones he revealed himself to. Go see for yourself. Anyway this disturbs me. Has everyone really got life in the kingdom figured out. I mean how about parenting i never hear anyone ask for parenting guidence. I like this topic because it is almost, if not more hot than the money topic. ohhhhh, now I have got to talk about money. Jesus does not ask for 10% he asks for it all. Again go see for yourself. So why are we so uptight about money and what the chuch will do with "my money".. Isn't it all God's money?
Are we suppose to wait until our peers have every thing figured out until we humbly ask for their help. Now I've really gotten myself in a bind cause I have to go live it out. We see marriage after marriage go down the drain (in the church) and either we never knew or we turned away when we saw the problems. Please do not turn a deaf ear or blind eye to me if you see me heading for a train wreck. And believe me, I have barely survived a few.

I am trying to think of how I can be a student of christ and learn from my peers.

"Lord, please help me to trust you when I cannot understand and when I am afraid."

2003-09-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

2003-09-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

So.... back from boise just a few days and just as we felt so encouraged the dark clouds start rolling in. Especially upon Greg. But I am happy because I live with this man and the things greg has been proclaiming were affirmed this weekend with our friends at allelone(did I spell that right). This work that we heard and shared about (living and proclaiming the kingdom) is not a work done in the midst of fanfare. We are really caught between a rock(jesus) and a hard spot (church as we have known it). Lord give us love and wisdom as walk on.

Another topic I'd like to see more diaolgue about from everyone is the voice of women in the kingdom. I am not thinking we have to go change a bunch of folks rather I wonder what your experiences are and what you think. Since we have been encouraged to re-imagine the church I wonder what it would be like with more of a balance of voices.

I really enjoyed my time with the women in bosie especially Amber Bishop who is just plain fun. And the gals from Levi's Table. trivia: Did you know that gina came up with the name Levi's Table? I thought that was so brilliant of her. Jeanette P and Beth K and fabulous celebrity chef Debbi H were so supportive and wonderful hostesses. Then there was Mariah whose room we stayed in what a trooper she was. And Liz C whose is most interesting to listen too, an extremely thoughtful person. And Tracy R who strolled around the compound spreading joy. Lets see oh yea a wonderful message therapist who graciously rubbed all the kinks out of my neck one evening. I love her, now if I could only remember her name... And there were other sweet faces who I am forgetting. Oh karen also, is just a deep woman of God. I just know these woman are brewing with thoughts and wisdom. Bring it on girls.

More later......... Much love to all of you who have been praying for us. Now bring it up a notch as we walk out what jesus is calling us to.

2003-08-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

I think Tom Mohan and Greg are my only blog readers but I am bloggin anyway,

I was on Beth Kecks blog and she was talkin about being a woman with a devote spiritual life as well as looking good and having a half way decent wardrobe and still being acceptable to the superchristian woman that we run into. Well this got me burn'in up. Last year after I had kid number 3. I found myself rethinking how I look. I was not all down on myself but I did start to wonder why I was seeing all these ladies with nice nails and cute hair dos and just lookin good. Then I started to wonder about why so many men have affairs. At that moment I made a resolve. I was'nt going to chase every sale and trend but I was not going to kid myself into thinking that my pregnacy clothes were still appealing after the baby had been out a good 6 months. So I went off to Toni and Guy and got myself a new do. Then I went and got some cool jeans that fit and were more stylish. Now I have never been into all the primping and pampering but I thought about how many arguments there must be between husband and wife about wife spending money on clothes or how wife never spent money on clothes but how husband might not want her to but the reality is isthat many men find themselves attracted to women who do spend money on the way they look. Because ya don't look that good doing nothin. Gosh I sound wayyyyyyyyyy more materialistic then I would like you to think I am but oh well.

So if your wondering should I pay the bills or do my nails well maybe you should just take a risk.

2003-08-25T16:44:00.000-07:00

Hum I thought I started a blog and saved it. Anyway more persecution in suburbia. I painted my living room, hallway, and foyer. Then I went to wipe the fresh hand prints curtiousy of one of the three children. The water left a water stain. This is not spose to happen since I got paint that should wipe off. So the paint store who I am very impressed with gave me a new 5 gallon thing of paint. And they upgraded it for free. Unfortunately I do not have the time to repaint. So......... I am praying that God would give me a creative solution to get the money to pay someone. Please consider praying for me.

2003-08-06T13:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had an experience as a mom that one of my friends described as her "worst nightmare" There is a sweet boy across the street who just moved in. He has come over our house a few times and just played with all of our kids right in our living room. He never seemed to exclude our younger kids. Yesterday he was playing with our daughter in our play room and I walked in to find them resting side by side under a sheet and he moved his hand quickly and was visably nervous. Now they were only in there a short time. But I was overwhelmed with a wierdness. I just picked up my daughter and calmly sent him home without addressing with him the situation. But I as a mother was completely freaked out.

the positive is that I have been planning for this situation (look at the statistics) for awhile. And I went to check on them soon after they were alone. So nothing "happened" Today I spoke with his mother because he needs to parented through this. Please pray for them as a family. I do not know them and I am sure she was taken off guard. But the reality of what I know to be true was a bummer. I am certain I will not leave my daughter out of my sight until she moves away from our home.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................

2003-08-05T05:05:00.000-07:00

Repentance has been a new word in mine and Gregs conversations as of late. Repentance is an uncomfortable word for me it conjures up feelings of condemnation, or out of touch preachers or fundamentalists. The truth I cannot dodge, is that Jesus invites me to do it as a condition of following him. Hummm...............A condition. That is another uncomfortable word. Sounds like a personal problem to me.

A lyric written by Bono is also rolling around in my mind. It is becoming an original psalm for me. The words are from a song called Kite.

I am not afraid to die
I am not afraid to live
when I am flat on my back
I hope to say that I did.

Jesus I repent, please help me to repent
while your at it could you teach me
how to die
and
how to live.

2003-07-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

Ahh, lots going on inside of me and around me inside of others. The challange is stay focused on myself and serve others instead of focusing on them to serve myself get it? Greg and I had such a great time listening to music last night. we sang and talked and sang some more. then we went to sleep and right as we were drifting off our son strolled in. He told us he was having a lego dream and it would'nt stop. So he gathered his things and made a bed next to ours. Then we heard screaming coming from son#2's room and I went in to comfort him. As I was with him Greg went in to check on Lauren and he came back and told me that the "wheels of the bus just fell off". I went to see her and she had exploding diahrrrihia everywhere. So on went the shower and once she was cleaned up and on the other side of our bed our 1st son threw up all over our bathroom. Nice...................... Anyway everyone was pronounce sick by the doctor. And we are recovering today.

How does one re-think church with out giving the impression that we are not against the church. I wonder if this is really possible. I think people think we are friends of the church only when we pursue what the church is pursuing. I had a conversation with a lovely person who attended our church when we were with a certain denomination and she was telling me how she really needed structure (a different one then we were offering) and then she said in a different tone that she was not a "consumer christian" but it was her tone that sadened me. It sounded like a hint of resentment. Ahhh, I just felt so frustrated because I struggle with being a consumer chrisitian it is so inherent in our culture and how I have known church. What bugged me was that we are not trying to point fingers but re-look, re-imagine, re-pursue a different thing. So I donno, I also did not want to spin our focus to make her feel better about herself. I think we all have a trace of consummerism in us don't we. Folks there is a part of me that would give anything to drop my kid off at a well run sunday school and pick them up with happy little smiles and little songs and litttle crafts without having to lift a finger. Then there is a part of me that wants to invite them to the Good Shepherd who calls his sheep by name and invites them into the fold personally and knows them so well he would know when they walk off and he would leave the rest to find the one.

Have I mentioned Catechesis of The good Shepherd? ahh you really owe it to yourself to check it out. www.catechesisgoodshepherd.org We are slowly implementing this method into our church. And honestly it is not because I am a kid person who is thrilled about spending time with a room full of children. But I truly believe there is something special about this work. More later as we progress.

Much more but must attend the youths

2003-07-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the most amazing dream. Well first of all I must confess that I did eat 1/4 of a chocolate turtle cake and then I picked up a favorite book called A Chance to Die by Elizabeth Elliot. It is a biography of Amy Carmichael. I was very encouraged by her faithfulness and trust in God. But my dream was this.... I was at my suburbian home here in Cumming Ga and I wanted a visit from Jesus. Jesus said he would come and make a personal visit to me at our home. So.. he was on his way and I kept getting reports from people that he was coming but he would stop here and there to talk with people on his way. He seemed to be stirring up a lot of attention. So finally he was in my neighborhood and I was looking outside my front door and a lot of the neighbors had thier front doors open. One neighbor who is Indian had his door open with an altar set up. It seems that it was an altar for Jesus. So neighbors told me that he had stopped by another neighbors house but he would be coming to my house next. Then a woman came to the door and her name was Mary she was dressed the way she would have been dressed in the time of Jesus. She was there to let me know he would be here soon and suddenly a small tornadoe came down around a tree in our front yard and it caught on fire and there were heavy winds in that small area. I was not afraid because it seemed to be a symbol of God's power. Then I woke up. Any thoughts?

2003-07-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

If you haven't checked out this Catechesis of the Good Shepherd thing and you are interested in misssional, spirit lead churches I think they get it big time. They get it big time for the child in us but I am wondering if the adult in us would get it??? Any way I spent this last week in retreat. It was not silent but it was meaningful. The retreat was for children ages 3-12 and it was called "Parables for Growing" and it was centered on a few parables. One is of course, the Good Shepherd. But I had the opportunity to be in a group with both my children. Wow. The parable of the pearl of great price was presented and my son Samuel had a very surprised look on his face and he sat there and while he was absorbed in the story he said " He gave everything for one pearl". And it got me thinkin have I given everything for one pearl? And today we presented the parable of the seed. And when asked how the kingdom of heaven is like the seed that was scattered and grew a three year old girl said it died and a few other children said it died. hummmm the kingdom of heaven is like a seed that died.................maybe we can wonder about that.

2003-07-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

humm did ya ever think you were getting closer and closer to experiencing God and then realized that you had just walked so far away from his ways that you were confused? Thats how I felt this weekend after several large and alot of small fights with my husband. I was so mad at him only to finally realize very painfully that I had been responsible for most of the reasons why I was mad at him. Oh and I really am mad at God for not adjusting a bunch of inconvient circumstances. A Van Morrison song is flooding my mind When will I ever lean to live in God when will I ever learn....He gives me everything that I need and more............ Man my head is still spinning from the weekend. My soccer mom moment is that my friend Amy's mom was in town and she gave me a ton of new tupperware. Isn't that cool? Especially since I am going to a neighborhood party and can refrain from any purchases. Yea!

2003-07-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

Another saga of suburbia persecution is the famous offer to clean one room in your home for free by a bunch of guys dressed up like JW's. So who fell for it..............yup, I did. soooooooooo I desperately needed a carpet cleaning in my living room and immediately called Greg to tell him of the small miracle that God had given us. He was very reluctant but I won him over. So this man came in whirlin and twirlin a Kirby. And I loved it. I even brought my neighbor over, she wanted to see if it really would get out alllllllll the stains in my carpet. Three hours went by I kid you not. And he told me he wasn't leaving until he met Greg. Of course he was not dumb enough to think that me in all my excitement would spend $1,900 on a vacume cleaner, which by the way also gives messages! Well I am sure it would not have taken as long if Greg did'nt have that nasty stomach bug. So he came in and went straight up stairs to soak. Well the guy would not leave. Even with my three little kids and all their screaming and fighting and yelling it could nott scare this guy away. So finally Greg conceded and came down stairs to knock some sense into my head and show the sales person to the door. So, your wondering about my clean carpet. Yes it was cleaned however not worth three hours of my time or the embarrassment of the neighbor seeing my carpet and my children's bedroom which he dragged us into to display another wonderful quality. But most importantly it was not worth the part of my soul that lusted after it for hours.

2003-07-03T06:39:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had the opportunity to meet with a spiritual director. She is very prophetic and has a style all her own and I appreciate it. Anyway, I was fortunate encough to have God speak to me through her. It was very refreshing and interesting. Well I have not had any time in silence or prayer since we met over a week ago. Yesterday I found myself sitting down pondering my time with her. At that moment it seemed that God broke in saying this "Heidi, what you had with her was an invitation to be with me, it wasnt the party. It was the invitation. How many time have I confused the invitation of God for the party. All the songs and sermons and conferences and small groups and house churches and meaningful conversations and revelations they are just the invitation. Hum.................am I willing to go to the party why or why not.

2003-07-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about what it means to be missional in our suburban subdivision. I have never lived in a subdivision before. It reminds me of American Beauty. I saw that movie only because my thoughtful husband explained it to me before hand so I would'nt get freaked out. I loved it. It was such a great illustration of where suburbia is spiritually. Of course now that I am living here it feels harder. I ve really been struggling with suburbia persecution. Yea, believe it or not there is persecution in suburbia. It is hard to dectect but it lives. I was walking down the street and looking into everyones foyer. Alot of people already had thier walls painted and decorated. Mine are being decorated with a zillion dirty, greasy handprints. So my friend told me the decor was all on credit I guess that made me feel more self righteous for about 5 minutes. Then I went back to coveting. There is a super mega mcchurch in the area where everyone goes. And this neighbor came to me after her father died and said she might want to visit our church. She told me she wants to be known. However, her husband would not think of leaving McChurch. So I told her that I knew of at least 5 famlies in our subdiv that attended their church and suggested they start a weekly home group. It got me thinking about prayer and could it be possible that people here would be known and know God. We'll see. Until then I must struggle and prayerfully overcome this lust and materalism that I have been sucked into. I did ask if God would just move us down the street into a double wide. And he said that is not where he called us. But there is a funny story about how completely uncool I have become (in my mind I was cool before). I went to a purse party and there were Kate Spade purses that were fake being sold at 50.00 a pop. Well I had not heard of this Kate gal and was wondering what the big deal was. As I heard the woman talking about purses and shoes and home decor I felt like an idoit. I have two pair of shoes that I wear and I never thought about if they matched my purse. All I wanted to do was tell them how Greg used to work for Bananna Republic and we used to dress really cool ect....................... Suddenly, I heard some wise words from Nana, honey, people might think your stupid but when you open your mouth your just tell'in them. I could not afford the bag and agreed to have a purse party at my house so I could win a free one.

2003-06-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

When I think about how and when this past year that I was drawn to God I'd have to say hands down that it has been through the training I am recieving in Catechesis of the Good Shephard. This is a method for children and I have been moved beyond what I could have imagined. This weekend I am presenting the Parable of the mustard seed. The mustard seed is so small yet it grows into this tall tree. How? I don't think a bunch of people go watering the mustard seed and fertilizing them. Where does the power come from.
I was reading someones blog on the simple chuch and its success and folks have asked me how are church is doing. I am not sure what they mean except is it getting bigger?. I spoke with one woman and she was interested in what we were doing for all of 30 seconds and then she was so mezmorized by her big church and I mean big. I felt like a Big K cola next to Diet Coke. It felt like she was communicating that if I went to her church I would have arrived at the ideal christain church experience. What was interesting was that she was speaking about the mega pastor as though she knew him personally. I guess he is doing a good job if that is what she felt. But is he? I don't bring this up to criticize her experience but I reallize how differently I am thinking about church in just a years time. Another good friend is planting a church and they are walking into a fifty member core group and she is worried that no one else will come and I am hoping she gets the opportiunity to know the people already there. Man I am not sure what happened to me.

2003-06-18T05:56:00.000-07:00

greg inspired me to blog today. I thought I lost my last blog but I just found it a week later wow.
Greg did some "free thinking" on his blog and I love that so I am going to do some as well.

Jeniffer G came to my house with her three kids and cleaned it after I whinned for about an hour on my perfect life.
Money talks......but it can't sing and dance and it can't walk...............forever in blue jeans babe.
My dryer is beeping.
My daughter of 3 1/2 found my Bunko icon and told me she like my barbie it is a bratz doll.
Do you think its strange to buy yourself a card that is completely encouraging and to display as though someone else sent it.
I have not sent anyone a card for any occassion in the past year and I feel like a loser.
I have no idea why we are pursuing missional church in suburbia usa.
My dream day would be to have a professional organizer to come over and find a place for everything we own.
My BIG question is "Why am I in such a hurry?"
My favorite gatorade flavor is grape.
When I am trying to focus on exerciseing I picture myself riding my bike through golden gate park in San Francisco.
The thing I love most about the South is sweet tea and "Ya'all thing I haven't learned to like is...........well everything else.
San Francisco, Georgia, San Francisco, Georgia, San Francisco Georgia, Georgia?
I wish I could meet some folks around here who are doing what we are doing.
As charlotte would say "Chin up".

Maybe more later

2003-06-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

Today I shall blog...Summer is here. Kids, kids and more kids. Yahoooooooooooooo! I created this very stategic plan for our summer days (so as not to wonder what happened at the end of each day) Well, I decided that I would have a schedule for the kiddies and that worked for two days. It has been two and ahalf weeks and I am feeling the burn out. It is such a challenge for me to stay on a planned schedule. But I need it. My friend told me about this technique with proverbs that would help answer really mysterious questions one has about thier life. What you do is ask a question and then read through the proverbs to find the answer or "direction". So my question was how to have or find joy in this journey we are on. the word that really stuck out was discipline.. I hate that word. But I know I need it. So back to the ole schedule. I have been down lately and I think for good reason. It is just occuring to me that life will not be unfolding as I would like it. Bummer. It really is just hitting me now. It takes me awhile to figure things out. Now is a time when I could use a good dose of John Piper. His book Faith in future grace is such a hopeful message. Buck up Heidi and Hope in God. ohhhh my most favorite hymn is comming to mind

God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill,
He treasures up his bright designs,
And works his sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the LORD by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence,
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding ev'ry hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow'r.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain;
GOD is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.

William Coper

2003-05-23T15:31:00.000-07:00

Today has been such a good day. The last day of school (for my kids) and me. And our housemates for the past 5 months have been blessing with there own space. I am sure it feels like a mansion to them since they have (without complaint) been stuck in our small guest room. It is interesting to me that they would move on the last day of school. Because we talk so much about community

2003-05-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my shoutouts are so long I wonder why I just don;t blog my own thoughts. So here goes. I am reading this book called the prophetic imagination by Sir Walter Brueggemann. I just may finish this one. it's a hard read for a ditz like me but there is some good stuff. There is one thought to share. "There is a depreciation of memory and a ridicule of hope, which means everything must be held in the now, either the urgent now or an eteranal now. Either way, a community rooted in energizing memories and summoned by radical hopes is a curiosity and a threat in such a culture.When we suffer from amnesia, every form of serious authority for faith is in question, and we live unauthorized livesof faith and practice unauthorized ministries." WoW. So the question I am asking myself is..............in what ways is my own faith so domesticated that it never thought of as christian but as christian culture or subculture. And what can think about or feel or do that might energize me to embrace more of christ. Oh Greg if your reading this could you restore my shout outs.

2003-04-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

2003-04-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

today i was thinking about my laundry and what a discipline it is for me to do it consistanly. I had a conversation about it with several people. My sister-in law said she just does it every day no matter what. another lady asked my why it was such an event. and a few others just laughed in agreement. I was also thinking about what it meant to do the laundry as a christian. I do not think of God as a micro-manger however this has been an issue for me since I have been married. I guess when i said "I do" i did not factor in the laundry or dishes aspect. no need to fear i would never recant on account of laundry. Ya know what, I was just folding some clothes before I decided i should blog about it. Ya see, i could have folded and put away one load...............better go.

2003-03-27T11:41:00.000-08:00

ok, ok I have also been really thinking about LIVING. I saw this quote on a site:

“God commands all Christians to bring forth the fruits of devotion, each according to their kind.”

St Francis de Sales
I came across another quote years ago that is been coming to my mind. it say's something like "JOY" is one of the least practiced christian virtures. Well whatever folks it's also suppose to be a fruit of the spirit of the "LIVING GOD". The living God dwelling in us. It is common for someone in a group of people praying for God to come. I say, " God help us to be AWARE of you inside of us already here". So lord help us to Come to grips with the fact that you are inside of us. So I have been thinking about what it means to LIVE and to have JOY. Gosh i wish I meet more people who were joyful. honestly, i wish i was more joyful. In Dallas Willards book the Divine Conspirisy (which by the way, i could not get past the first chapter, i guess i am still thinking about it) he talks about our life that we as christians are going to live beyond this world. oh..............................now i get it.

2003-03-18T11:10:00.000-08:00

If a team is to reach its potential, each player must be willing to subordinate his personal goals to the good of the team.
Bud Wilkinson
I am not sure who Bud is but this really sparked my soul. Not because it is the deepest best quote I ever heard but because I am learning this in our church enviornment. And I think of the Laker's and how they have been able to be champions. This is hard. I think the most critical challange is recognizing our personal goals in the first place. Some day if I ever get the opportunity I want chat with some folks about personal awareness not being aware of others but of ourselves. How do I come across to folks. In my mind I am gracious, loving and warm. I feel good about myself until some real honest person comes along and tells me different. I just wish more people would stick around longer to grow closer. Even through the garbage. I see this beauty in the covenant of marriage. Did I say covenant? Lord, please help me be willing to look at myself and how I come across to others.

The following article seemed like a good thing I got it from another site
http://thehighcalling.org/

WHY CAN’T I HEAR GOD?
Eugene Peterson on Listening: A High Calling Interview
Interview by: Nancy Lovell

The musical group U2’s Bono quotes Eugene Peterson from the stage. Readers of the best selling Bible, The Message, find themselves holding onto lines from his fog-slicing Bible paraphrase and many other works. Beginning September 29, The High Calling of Our Daily Work will provide a daily prayer and reflection by Eugene Peterson. What are devotions and why do they matter? The High Calling asked Eugene Peterson during a recent interview:

Why do so few people who believe in God bother to know Him?

The most obvious answer is that we’re in a hurry and not used to listening. We’re trained to use our minds to get information and complete assignments; but the God revealed to us in Jesus and our Scriptures is infinitely personal and relational. Unless we take the time to be quiet, in a listening way, in the presence of God, we never get to know him. The same question is why so few married couples really know their spouses. People get divorced after 20 years of marriage, and the rejected spouse says, “I never knew this was coming. I thought everything was fine.” But there was not much listening in those 20 years.

Devotions are the discipline of being quiet and listening for what we don’t hear in the streets, in the media, in the workplace.

What about people who sincerely set apart time, read the Bible, stay still, and hear nothing? They ask themselves whether God’s voice is anything more than their own thoughts.

We’re not good at this. We’ve had no practice doing it. No wonder we only hear our own thoughts. This is why the church is so insistent that we do this whether anything happens or not. Supported by 2000 years of history, we know that God does commune with us in our listening. But because we’re so unused to this way of communion, we don’t hear it. So it takes time.

How would you direct someone trying to start?

I would say: Get your Bible and find a place. If you can’t do this daily (some people can’t because of their life circumstances; mothers with young children are obvious instances), try for at least 20-30 minutes, two or three times a week, or four. Don’t make demands on yourself too high. Don’t ask questions about, “How long is this going to take?” Believe that something does happen in that silence—usually through Scripture, but not always—in prayerful, attentive listening, knowing that you’re in the presence of God. I ask for a commitment of six months; don’t come back in three weeks and say nothing’s happened.

I’ve never had anyone who’s done this at least six months who came back to me and said, “I did it and nothing happened; I’m going on to something else.” Not many who give this a fair test ever say that nothing happens.

Also, when I’ve asked people to do this as their pastor, I also ask them to worship regularly. This is a place where the whole community is gathered and listening and being in the presence of God.

Is that how you started?

I was lucky. In the family I grew up in, I started when I was about 14 . . . mostly with the Psalms, but all the Scriptures become part of it.

In your writing and speaking, you must have seen moments when a person realizes, "Yes, I want more and I want God." What turns on the light for people?

Often the motivation is that people are tired of the way they’re living. They think there’s got to be more than just the motions they’re going through and the work they’re doing. There’s a craving and hunger that they identify with God. There’s enough pain or boredom or something to motivate them to do something that the culture’s not telling them to do.

I got a letter recently from a friend of 40 years. She had been a parishioner of mine for a long time. Then she was ill, and divorced; and she quit, just gave up. She quit reading the Bible, quit going to church. Six months ago she wrote me a lovely letter that she was sitting with a group of friends and, in her words, “a rooster crowed”—it all came back and she was a Christian again and aware of the presence of God. Isn’t that a wonderful phrase? A rooster crowed.

Who knows what went into that statement of hers? Twenty years of unhappiness, pain, suffering, disillusionment . . . but still there was the need. She would have said during that time she didn’t believe in God. But the rooster crowed. That’s why we use the term the Holy Spirit to explain times like this.

Given that it’s hard to discipline ourselves to silence, listening—and to daily time in quiet—tell us about your devotions on this website.

I wrote those in the early morning for 20 years, maybe 25 years. And what I was trying to do was be present to the Scripture, listen to God, and to write as honestly as I could. I wasn’t thinking about anybody else but me. It’s really hard to be honest as a writer. You get these wonderful ideas, and you love to manipulate words and see if you can make it sound good. It’s hard to be honest, especially working for God. That was the thing I was most aware of. "Eugene: Don’t say anything that is not relational, immediate, honest; stay present to the text and be honest before God." I believed if I could be honest, I could draw some other people to honesty, too.

In one of your early devotions, you point out that Cain wasn’t listed as one of the descendants of Adam, and you ask why. But you never bring it up again, much less offer an answer.

That’s part of this life: You ask God questions and you go without a lot of answers . . . you learn to live with the mystery of a God who doesn’t tell us all the details. Kids ask their parents a lot of questions. And sometimes parents say to their kids, “Just trust me. You don’t know enough to understand the answer. So just live awhile.” Being a Christian and reading the Bible is not a way to get all your questions answered. There are few answers in the Bible. God is wanting to draw us into a relationship of faith, intimacy, and love. That doesn’t come through information alone. It comes through trust, obedience, and the willingness to be present in the mystery of God. It comes through letting Him reveal himself to us as we’re able to receive the revelation. If God just dumped all the answers on us at once, we probably couldn’t handle it. We’d misuse it. We’d think we had control of it now.

2003-03-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

I feel very green today. I am reminded of a scripture somewhere that says "why are you amazed at the fiery trail you are going through as though something strange is happening to you" (my paraphrase) I am amazed. I am sad. But I am also hopeful.

The most profound question someone once asked me is "where are you going in such a hurry?" This is my BIG question. What's yours. So many time times a week as I am yelling at the kids to hurry up or yelling at my husband to hurry up or yelling at God to hurry up or yelling at others to hurry up the spirit in good or amazing grace just slides in and asks Why are you in such a hurry? Where do I ultimately need to go, or get or be so bad that it justifies treating others like crap or that they don't matter. Today i am wondering (cause i am wonderchic) about this.

2003-03-15T05:05:00.000-08:00

today I am thinking about evangelism and me. what does it mean for me to witness. where am i? what is my sphere of influence. who is doing life around me. who do i like to be around? there are some nice neighbors. nice mommies at the kids school. the kids themselves. i guess the thought that is impressing me most is how important it is for me to be hanging out with the jesus. just loving him and following him and receiving his love. i have been pondering the the parable of the good shepherd. how much he loves his sheep how his sheep hear his voice. i always thought of this verse in terms of judging others (sorry) but now i am thinking about how much confidence we can have in following the good shephard. i hear him, i know his voice and should i stray outside of the fold his leaves the sheep to find me, he lays his life down for the sheep, there are other sheep that he wants in his fold. i thank italian theologian sofia cavalletti who wrote the most thought provoking book The religious potential of the child./ she has encouraged me to wonder about god. So the handle Wonderchic.

2003-03-14T15:10:00.000-08:00
I was reflecting to day on our journey here to the south and was realizing all the people that we have been "doing life with" over the past several months. I am blessed. You guys have been so encouraging and have yourselves taken risks. I pray that the Lord would lead and speak to us all.

2003-03-14T05:33:00.000-08:00
TGIF. Ok, so my blog yesterday was really raw (sorry) I am sure it was my alter ego speaking. But I guess it is true that out of the mouth the heart speaks. Today I am thinking about where is Jesus leading us? Sitting here thinking about it all is already starting to bore me. Greg is good at thinking through stuff I am eager to put some of this community stuff into practice. I am considering inviting some of the moms in the neighborhood to have a little focus group. this is something that I did a few years ago to treat my ADD. Four woman got together and bought franklin planners and talked about living life with intention. That is a thought.

2003-03-13T08:14:00.000-08:00
Edited due to negitivity that is unproductive.

2003-03-13T07:09:00.000-08:00
ya know whats strange, ever since I got my blog set up I think in blog language. like when i have an idea its like i am posting it on my blogger space in my mind.

anyway this really struck me today

"IN THE UPPER ROOM, Jesus gently and imaginatively equipped his
disciples to set aside their old dreams of who he was and what kind of
world to hope for. He gave them new images of himself and his kingdom:
the washing of feet, the sharing of bread, praying, dying, rejoicing
amid suffering. He gave them a new image of God's face just by calling
them by name and getting them to look him in the eye.

By faith we believe that God's reign is more than just a dream. It is
reality. Yet, we only seem to catch it in glimpses."

in light of all that has happened in our plant this is a great inspiration for my future. gosh we have been preparing for this church thing for years and we get to where we think were spose to be and while scratching our heads the entire time "crash bang boom opps" it's like an Alice in wonderland experience. i am so glad i do not know the future. i just want to go home. not to a geographical place but to a community.

2003-03-10T10:53:00.000-08:00

2003-03-10T10:50:00.000-08:00
I cannot wait to get a chance to blog.